A Slice of Sam

I really like Sundays..

2009-07-12T19:24:00.002-04:00

I used to hate Sundays so much. Mostly because it signaled the end of the weekend, usually I had gotten nothing done and I had to go to work the next day.

However, nowadays, I use my Sundays as a lazy day. My schedule usually involves getting up, having coffee, eating, reading the paper, then returning to bed, sleeping, getting up, taking a nap and then fixing dinner. It's really wonderful to have a day dedicated to relaxation. Once I gave myself permission to not feel bad about doing nothing, Sundays and I have been getting along great.

I didn't accomplish quite everything I wanted. No serious cleaning in the sense of getting the windows cleaned and that sort of thing, but I did clean the place nicely, mopped and dusted furniture (uh, minus the office bedroom, that can wait!).

No True Blood was watched either. :-/ oh well! C'est le vie!

I'm ready to start the week! Four days of work, a concert on Thursday, five day weekend and then a two day work week due to my usual summer hours. WOOT!!

Well, I'm off to play Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4!! Trying to beat Shadow Teddie, and I hope the 5th times the charm:

TGI...weekend.

2009-07-10T21:05:00.002-04:00

Happy Friday! Oh man, this week could not be over soon enough!

Having to be at work by 6:30am everday + evening sinus headaches + benedryl = URRRGH.

I'm doing it all for next week though! My DEB is coming on Tuesday and will be here for a week. I'm SUPER excited!!!! We've got a concert on Thursday and many plans for the DC area! I've got next Friday, the following Monday and Tuesday off, so that's ample time for some fun. (Plus I've sadly lived here for 3 years and haven't really done much of anything........)

On the agenda for this weekend: Summer cleaning. Floors need mopping desperately, windows need cleaning and furniture needs dusting. I'm hoping to do it all tomorrow and be able to rest on Sunday.

Also, MUST FINISH WATCHING LAST FOUR EPISODES OF TRUE BLOOD SEASON ONE! Funny story about when I still had cable (AND HBO), I was too lazy to watch True Blood when it actually came on, so I was catching it on the OnDemand feature. I got up to episode 8, took a week off and then came back to finish and they took them off! Just my luck. So naturally, I was psyched when the dvd came out a few weeks ago. We snatched it up on the first day it came out.....and it's been sitting on the bookshelf ever since.

I am blaming the Tudors on that one, I guess. I bought season one awhile ago, became hooked on it. Ran out and bought season two and ravaged that. LOVED IT! It's horribly historically inaccurate, but it's a fun show and Jonathan Rhys Meyer's is a wonderfully, passionate Henry VIII character. I cannot wait for Season 3 to come out on dvd!!

Ok, seriously, June, you can be over now.

2009-06-28T15:46:00.003-04:00

Billy Mays dead?! SHEEESH! He made Oxy-Clean and Orange Glo seem so amazing!!!!!

No more death please, June 2009. The past few days partnered with the blah cloudy gloom today is making me feel a bit down in the dumps.

Anyways. This has been a most uneventful weekend. I had so many things I should have done...but didn't. I lazed around most of yesterday and today trying to hold on to the hours of free time as long as possible (by doing nothing, oh the irony!).

My mom purchased me a pressure cooker through Sears this past week. We went to pick it up yesterday and I'm soooo excited to use it tonight. My mom and grandmother have always made food in the pressure cooker and they taste so fantastic. I haven't really learned to use it in all those years, but my mom has given me guidance and I'm excited to make her and g-ma's delicious beef with gravy. MMMMM...beef with gravy and chicken and dumplings are two of the best things that come out of pressure cookers in my opinion. I will be making the latter tomorrow night.

Things on the exercise front have been going well. Wii Active makes me SWEAT like crazy. It's mostly toning exercises though, and even though I'm on fire afterwards, I realize I need to add more cardio in the mix. I've been doing the 30-day Shred occasionally after the Wii Active when I feel I need a bit more, but that's a lot of toning as well. I think it's time to jump back on my old friend the Elliptical. UGH.

On a positive note, my husband said my legs feel tighter! And they do!! I was surprised to feel a bit a muscle through my chunkiness. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is. (-: I haven't done any official measurements yet, but I think I will schedule that and a weigh-in for next Sunday.

Hope everyone is well!

June 25th, 2009.

2009-06-26T18:21:00.004-04:00

I just wanted to record a few thoughts here about yesterday. I'm sure some day in the future, they'll be a conversation about "where were you when Michael Jackson died?"

The simple answer: At home. Just finished exercising. I was feeling more than a little bit bummed about the passing of Farrah Fawcett and then my mom called me and said: "DID YOU HEAR THAT MICHAEL JACKSON DIED?!?"

No, I didn't.

Honestly, before I went off to exercise and eat dinner, I saw a blurb on yahoo about MJ being rushed to the hospital, but didn't click on it or pay much attention to it. )-:

I am sad. No matter what I've thought or didn't think of him in the past decade of his life, I will never forget how much I used to love him when I was a little girl.

Things I will remember about yesterday and his death will be the amazing powers of people to close down the internet! After I heard, I, like many others, rushed to the internet, but couldn't get on many sites because they were overloaded!! ONTD shut down freakin' livejournal!

Also, going on iTunes, there are tons of MJ songs and Jackson 5 songs on the TOP SONGS list, and MJ has 8 albums in the TOP ALBUMS. Amazing!

My absolute favorite thing about Michael Jackson when I was kid was Moonwalker. Undoubtedly, I ran that tape into the ground watching it.

One of the best parts was the Moonwalker version of Smooth Criminal which I just thought was sooooo awesome:

Also, the Bad version in it that was done with all the kids:

LOVE. (-:

But mostly, as a young kid, I remember watching it and feeling sorry for him because of the video Leave Me Alone, which was basically about all the crap he got in the tabloids:

I still feel bad for him to this day. I think he had a lot of problems, but that doesn't make me feel any less passionate about his music. R.I.P. Mr Jackson.

PS, my best memory from going to Disney World/Epcott from the 80s was seeing his Captain EO in 3-d!!!!

Also, as mentioned previously, I'm really bummed about Farrah Fawcett. I watched her special last month, Farrah's Story, and wept. What an absolutely beautiful person she was and she tried to so hard to beat the cancer. If you haven't watched the documentary, it is on hulu here: Farrah's Story.

I'm almost sad for her sometimes when I think she got saddled with Ryan O'Neal as her lover, but heck, I feel bad for saying it because she loved him so much. And her son too. I hope that her boy can get his life together, considering he couldn't even be there by her side when she passed as he was in jail.

She was so beautiful and had such a sweet demeanor and voice. R.I.P, bb.

Ergh.

2009-06-22T21:01:00.004-04:00

Today was sure a test. I was actually feeling rarely fantastic today (especially for a Monday)--like good mood fantastic, energy fantastic...

Then my husband called to tell me that he is now unemployed.

ERGH.

Normally, I would go on the stress spiral and just throw up my hands and eat a big meal full of junk and lay in bed. But I've turned a new corner in living and decided nuts to that!

I didn't go out and get something crazy horrible for dinner. We DID go to Chik-fil-a, but I got the chicken sandwich with a side salad and light dressing. AND we did go to Stone Cold Creamery where I picked up a Birthday Cake Remix ice cream--but I haven't even eaten any yet, and don't know if I will tonight.

PLUS, I EXERCISED. What a Monday!

I picked up the Wii Active last week and have been really on the ball with it. I'm very impressed--it's nothing like Wii Fit. Wii Active is actually a work out and I have partaken in its 30 Day Challenge which has been fantastic. It actually makes me sweat.

AND, when I put my pants on this morning, they felt a little bit loose. WOO!

So here's to me sticking to something. It's a festivus miracle!!

That's all.

Mondays and me, we're just not friends.

2009-06-01T19:24:00.007-04:00

Before I begin, I just want to say that I cannot believe it’s already June 1st. I swear it was just mid-April a minute ago! This year is flying by fast!

Let’s talk Mondays. Monday used to be the day I swore I was going to start something. I was going to get up earlier, I was going to eat better, I was going to exercise, I was going to work on something…Monday is the day!

Then Monday comes and BLECH.

Today, after vowing to start back up on my 30 Day Shredding, and thus FAILING, I decided to just face facts: Monday and I really don’t get along. As a matter of fact, Mondays and I aren’t even frenemies…we’re MORTAL ENEMIES.

In the past, I’d vow to start on Monday, FAIL MISERABLY, and then beat myself up about it. Well, today, on Monday, I made a vow on something I didn’t actually fail at: to stop beating myself up and let Monday be a “whatever” day. And so far, I’m feeling fine.

After the weekend, I have a very hard time returning to weekdays. Weekdays bring the dread of work, traffic, housework, and all the other things I need to do that I dislike. I can barely get out of bed at the latest possible time I know I need to get up or I’ll be horridly late. I can barely keep my eyes open all day and the only thought running through my head is: “You suck, Monday.”

So even though this weekend I said I would exercise and study today, I am giving myself permission to just accept that Monday isn’t a good day for me and let it go. And that’s that! I feel much better after embracing this! Sounds lame, but it’s true!
In sort of related news, you may be wondering what the heck happened with my 30 Day Shred craze. HMMMMM…okay, I’m still crazy about it, and honestly, I was doing extremely well with it when I first started. Then I got horribly ill and I honestly stopped, and didn’t start up again. This falls in with the fact that I planned to start up last month, but time flew by like crazy!

Good news though, I haven’t re-gained most of the five pounds I lost. I’m hovering between 163 and 164, which is a small victory considering I haven’t been very health conscious at all since mid-April! I’ll take every little small victory I can get. (-:

Tomorrow, so-so Tuesday, I will return to the Shred and hope to do as best as I can by August when my mom and Gene return, along with my two brothers, for my Grandmother’s 80th b-day. Let’s see how well I can do!

The ladder still stands as:

Alright, lastly, I have not started studying for the GRE. I will also be starting tomorrow and hitting the books for September. I’m so nervous! Last night I had a terrible dream that I went to take the test and realized I was stupid! The test questions consisted of these really weird number puzzles that I had no idea how to solve. I woke up in a cold sweat!

I better get my butt in gear!

Moving forward?

2009-05-07T20:08:00.002-04:00

I realized the other day as I cracked open my GRE 2009 test prep book (and then subsequently closed it a minute late with a "meh") that I really needed a concrete date on which I would be taking the test.

You see, I'm a procrastinator. I need pressure to feel ALIVE, or at least spur me onto goals. Since I had nothing to shoot for test date wise, I had no drive to study. My dad kindly had offered to pay for the test, so I asked him if he was still up for it this morning.

Thankfully, he was. I'm scheduled to take the test on Saturday, September 19th at 8:30am.

That other day when I cracked the book open, I did manage to take the quick diagnostic test, and woooo boy, I have turned dumb. I have so much work to do, it's not even funny. This is why I scheduled the test 4 months into the future because if I didn't give myself adequate time to fill my brain with some sort of knowledge....yah.

I feel in some way like I'm moving forward with my graduate school initiative. It's kind of scary in a way since I've become so complacent and full of nothingness.

Wish me luck and any study tips are welcome. (-:

Yes, I did.

2009-04-30T18:50:00.003-04:00

Dear Suddenly Pasta Salad:

I know I didn't stop at the Target to actually buy you--but there you were, on the shelf, at a dastardly reasonable price. I remembered how delicious you were. I was delighted to find that you were of the "Classic" variety, not that awful Bacon Cheddar or so-so Ceasar. Classic variety, you are my soulmate in the pasta salad aisle.

I brought you home. I cooked you up. I then proceeded to eat almost every single last pasta morsel you contained. I disregarded the fact that you had 4 servings at 240 calories each. Plus you just tasted so good with that 20 ounce bottle of coke I also brought home.

Well, Suddenly Pasta Salad Classic. I realized today, you have hurt me. I'm trying to lose weight here, but yet you cannot put off your pasta charm. You and your friend coke conspired against me.

We can't keep meeting like this anymore. We just can't be friends. I think it best that we just try to avoid each other from this point forward. No more dinnertime rendevous. I'm sorry that it has to end like this after so many good times.

Your's truly,
Samantha

Shred: Day One

2009-04-27T18:52:00.002-04:00

I bought another Jillian Michaels workout dvd. I figured since I can only huff and puff my way through 20 minutes of her hour-long ones, I might as well go out and get her 30 Day Shred dvd. It's only 20 minutes long and has three levels. I guess you do 10 days or so on each level.

I've been reading really great reviews about it (heck, 1019 people reviewed it on amazon and it got 4 and a half stars out of five..), and of course, reading the success stories get me motivated.

So day one today. Nearly died. I am sad and pathetic. I finished with shaky arms and legs and I swear in the shower I was trying to wash my hair but was having trouble raising my arms. That's just level one. /-:

I'll let you know how it goes. I'll take my measurements after 10 days at level one. As for weight, eh, I hope I can lose a good number by mid-may.....maybe 155-ish?? I don't know. I'm not doing so hot on my April weight loss goal since I haven't exercised since before my horrid illness.

I will say that despite that, I have maintained my 5 pound loss, so I'm still at a cool 162.

Little steps, people.

Economically eating..

2009-04-25T20:40:00.004-04:00

BEHOLD MY LOAF OF BREAD!!!!!!!!!!

Last night, after reading this post on The Simple Dollar, I was overcome by an intense determination to make my own damn bread. I think I had attempted something along the lines of dinner rolls many a year ago and they did not work out...in any way...and I decided I hated yeast and vowed never to use it again.

The photo above is technically my second loaf of bread I made today as the first one didn't come out too well...ah haha... I used the recipe in the aforementioned article first and I don't think that there was enough liquid in it or enough flour. So yah, it rose during the first half, sort of rose during the last part and then sunk in the oven while baking. I tasted it, and it wasn't half bad but I was determined the make a decent loaf of bread.

The second one that came out nicely (yep, the one in the photo), I used an entirely different recipe and put it in my bread machine on the 'dough' cycle. I had a quick lesson today that told me people with weak wrists should not knead the dough for ten minutes by hand. Since I don't own a nice, fancy Kitchen-Aid mixer (but ooh man do I want this one), the bread machine actually worked great! I just had to take it out, roll it up, put it in the bread pan and let it rise for an hour before baking.

I am giddy.

On that note, next week is my own "eat from the pantry" challenge. I've read a lot about others doing their own by eating what they have without going to the store for little more than the bare essentials. My pantry and freezer is stock full of stuff I bought but never made and looking it over, I've got a good meal plan for a week and half. I went to the store today only for some produce and milk totalling a scant $25compared to the usual $80-$100.

I think half the time I just go to the store on habit. I buy stuff and then I put it away and don't make it. I'm one of those who wastes a lot of money by throwing away food. It doesn't really fit in line with my new economical thinking, so hence the challenge to myself.

I've made my meal plan for the next week, and my new food goal is to make a meal plan when I start making full trips to the grocery store again (which won't resume until I've exhausted my food stock). No more wasting food and throwing my money in the garbage.

Good luck to me!

The Sickening...and WEIGH IN!

2009-04-19T08:47:00.002-04:00

Let me tell you a story...It begins Easter Sunday at approx. 12:33am. I was attempting to sleep when I began to feel a little ill. I got up and went into the bathroom where I proceeded to stay until about 6am. Why you ask? Well, violent vomiting and constant liquid diarrhea. I'm talking one of those embarassing episodes where you just lie in the tub because you are so exhausted.

I ended up feeling like I could step away from the toilet at around 6 am, so we went ahead and took a trip to the emergency room. I got 2 bags of fluid, an Immodium and a shot of some so-so anti-nausea medicine. We were there for around 5 hours and I couldn't sleep a wink!!!! Ironically, there was a tv WITH cable in there but the freakin' sound didn't work! I watched 2 Easter movies with no sound on TCM and I had no clue what was going on, but hey. TV!!

I have been ill this entire week pretty much which stinks as my mom and Gene flew in on Wednesday. It's been a real bummer not being able to do anything with them on the week days. We did go to DC yesterday since I'm feeling almost back to normal--I will update about that later.

But right now, onto exciting news...uh, for me. Check this out:

I stepped on the scale this morning and I weighed 162.4!!! I've lost about 5 pounds since April 1st, which is good! My goal by the end of April is to at least be 159. That's only 3 more pounds, which I think is reasonable.

I know you are probably thinking that this is because of my illness last weekend. But I swear, I stepped on the scale on Tuesday morning after my vomiting had subsided, and I weighed only 1 pound less than I had before I got sick (which kind of made me mad considering all the stuff I expelled from my body..I know..I know). Plus, I have been eating since Thursday, so I'm confidant that this is a real-deal weight loss.

I am pleased with myself.

OWww...and donations!

2009-04-08T17:44:00.003-04:00

I tell you, I have been exercising everyday this week so far and I am out of shape. I can only manage about 20 minutes on those Jillian Michaels videos..but I am improving. They are KILLER. When I can get through the entire 50 minutes, I will be walking on sunshine.

I also have been watching my calories. What a wakeup call that is. Even stuff I thought was healthy had a ton of calories in it. I have done okay with that, made semi-decent (or at least much better than I used to) choices when eating out and logging everything I eat on The Daily Plate.

I stepped on the scale this morning and I had lost 2 pounds since last Wednesday BUT I'm not going to "officially" weigh-in until Sunday.

All in all, I'm extremely proud of the little steps I have been able to make in this endeavor, or as my super friend Deb calls it: the De-Whaling Mission. Usually when I get home from work, I let the tiredness run all over me and I end up not doing anything. But, this time I am actually doing it later in the evening instead of attempting it right when I get home--and even though most of the time I groan and say I don't feel like it, I actually DO get off the my butt and exercise which is HUGE. HUGE I TELL YOU.

Kudos to me!

Lastly, I made a bit of progress on my vague #4 Resolution of "Being a Better Person!" I donated $10 to the School Walk for Diabetes for a friend of mine's daughter who is participating. I have resolved myself to donate to two other charities before the year ends as well (hopefully a little bit larger sum if I can afford it). I'm planning those two charities to be the Ronald McDonald House Charities and the Susan G. Komen For the Cure.

Why those? Well, for the Ronald McDonald House, several months ago around the holidays, a local radio station was doing a fund-raiser for them. They had so many stories of how RMcD House had helped these families who's children were ill--gave them a place to stay, food to eat and clothes and care for the kids. It was so unbelievably touching that I vowed to donate to them at least once in my life.

For Susan G. Komen, I think that's probably the most repretable breast cancer foundation out there and I'd like to help in any small way I can. My grandmother is a breast cancer survivor and my aunt currently is battling it herself. It's scary and sad, as any cancer is, and it's touched my life personally.

I would encourage everyone to donate to something that is personally important to them. It makes you feel good, and even if it's just a tiny amount, you're helping!

April Goal = Stop being a CHUNK.

2009-04-01T17:39:00.002-04:00

167.6

That is how much I weigh currently. 167lbs and 6 ounces. This is the heaviest I've ever been in my entire life and it's too much. I remember last summer when I weighed 145lbs....GEEZE.

My goal weight is 125lbs. Why? Because I was semi-happy at 132lbs and figured why not? I was almost to a size 4 at one point, and I was very excited....but hell, I was excited to be down to a 6 since I had hovered at a 12 for several years. Well, I'm back up to the 12 and afraid that something might happen to the pants I have and thus require me to go buy new pants that probably will be a bigger size...UGH. (No offense to the 12's--it's just I'm a pear-shape and the extra weight goes to the hips/butt area and looks horrid). And look, I made a ticker:

YAH.

My goal for April is to lose 7lbs (and 6 ounces). I bought two Jillian Michaels dvds a few weeks ago and have decided to start off on those. They are the Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism dvd (which almost killed me) and No More Trouble Zones, which I have not done yet, but I am sure will almost kill me as well. The latter is the weight video, so we'll see how that goes.

I hope to go back to my elliptical some day, but for now, my motivation is low and videos make me slightly less bored. So there you go. If you are asking "why Jillian Michaels," the answer is: I have no idea. I don't watch The Biggest Loser, so that didn't motivate me. I think her covers were just colorful and they drew my eye to it. TRUTH.

I'm all over the Cirque..

2009-03-13T19:20:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow, I am actually getting out and going to see Cirque du Soleil's Kooza in Baltimore.

I am stoked, of course. I have always wanted to see a Cirque show and this will be my first time. My mom generously bought me, the huz, the grandmother, the aunt and the cousins very nice seats for Christmas. I seem to be the only one excited, but that's usually how it goes!

Whiny chick rock?

2009-03-12T17:42:00.003-04:00

OKAY. I admit it. I am in major like with the band Paramore. I will also admit with as little shame as possible, that I discovered them from the Twilight Soundtrack. I'm not sure what kind of music this would be classified under--iTunes classifies it as 'alternative' but my husband says it really should be 'whiny chick rock.'

As an aside, I will tell you that I saw Twilight in the theater. I enjoyed Twilight because it was so lame that it was fun. I will buy Twilight when it comes out on DVD because I like to laugh. I like sparkly, somewhat slow vampires and Kristen Stewart's face amuses me one minute and then makes me wonder if she might have down-syndrome (no offense). See, fun! I highly recommend it.

But back to Paramore. Please, if I may recommend a few songs, take a listen:

I Caught Myself (this is my favorite song of their's)
Decode
Crushcrushcrush
That's What You Get
Misery Business

You should check out their cd Riot! I like every song on there.

I'm back.

2009-03-08T09:01:00.002-04:00

First off, today is my birthday. It is an uneventful day in my life--but I must say, I am impressed that my mom did actually remember it this year.

I will be 27 years old. I'm not having any sort of nervous crisis about being 3 years away from 30. I'm more aghast that it's been so long since I graduated from high school. I had to do a double take and yell: "Didn't I just graduate?!?"

In other news, I made a new layout for this blog. I am far far away from any actual knowledge of anything from basic html, so this new layout made me smile. I think it actually looks okay. I couldn't stand the last one.

Yep, and that's it. After all the time elapsed from my last update nothing other than those two things have happened.

I'm not going to mention anything about my weight because, although I'm counting my calories, I'm not quite all the way in the game--if you know what I mean.

*sigh*

Hm...sigh

2009-02-22T17:30:00.002-05:00

I've made no updates for February because I have NO UPDATE. This month has seemingly gone by extremely fast. I cannot believe it's already the last week of the month!! So that said, Feb started off with a bomb of work stress. So much change and so much workload has been crushing me. Hence, I have done nothing this month as far as my January-end goals went--which is a total bummer!

Wait, scratch that, I did manage some progress towards Resolution #10, you know, the style one? Well, here's my short, pointless story: In high school, when I was at my awkwardest, oily, frizzy hair, pimple stage, I managed to get up every morning and put on makeup. Regardless, sometimes it was a bright-blue mascara, purple eyeliner combo (not everyday, but boy)...but still, I did I put on something, every day. Then I graduated high school and continued my awkward stage for a few years, but stopped doing anything to myself. No makeup, no hair styling, nada.

Flash forward to today. I think I've pretty much grown into myself as an adult, my hair's not frizzy, my pimply stage is thankfully over and my want for bright blue mascara has passed. However, I don't put on so much as a smidge of makeup. Not because I'm one of those "Oh, I don't need it" types...because trust me, I DO NEED IT. It's mostly laziness and being stuck in that rut I've mentioned a thousand times. So in a vow to try to look less shitty and tired, I threw out my years old eye shadow and mascara and bought ALL NEW MAKEUP! WOOT!

It was kind of exciting buying it all new again. Now the second part of the deal is I have to make an effort to put it on in the morning....we'll see.

In the second part of this uneventful update, I will mention that I stepped on my Wii Fit and it told me I was..........167 lbs. If this is true, I will need to lose about 40 pounds. I am sad.

The good news is that if I thought I hit my breaking point before, I've definitely hit it now. I'm disgusted with myself for gaining so much weight since January 2007. And now I'm ready to battle it off and try and get myself on track. I'm sick of being a chunk! This is the most I've ever weighed in my life and it terrifies me to be close to 170lbs.

I filled my fridge with produce and lean protein and bought one of those big Igloo lunch coolers. I'm starting small and making a vow to, for one week, starting tomorrow, I will eat only unprocessed foods. Easy right? WRONG.

If I can do it, I think I'll be very proud of myself.

Oh geeze.

Month End Progress

2009-01-31T19:57:00.002-05:00

I can’t believe January is already over. As I sit here on the last night of the first month of the new year, I am trying to go back and acknowledge any progress I made towards my goals for 2009.

If you asked me how I did, I would say: “HORRID.” Overall, not much accomplished this month—at least not really anything big that I wanted to work on.

The most crappy part of January that hung over my head was my financial situation. Starting the day after Christmas when Chloe died, the month just did a nosedive into monetary ruin and almost made me see no light at the end of the tunnel (as in, “OMG, we’re never going to catch up!). Chloe’s death, new kittens, new kitten kennel cough, new kitten RING WORM, the aforementioned Comcast screw job and new kitten $200 RING WORM medication was highly depressing. I am ashamed to say that we had to borrow money from my husband’s parents TWICE to get by. I am proud to say that the two times we borrowed money, it was paid back within the following week.

Financially, January has finally ended okay. I have everything worked out for February, and even though it’ll be tight, it looks like we’ll be returning to semi-normalcy by the end of the month. Hoooooray! March will hopefully be, um, good *knock on wood* and I’ll be able to start implementing my plan to pay off credit cards. Oh yah, and saving. My husband and I discussed saving goals, and even though I’m sure his REAL saving goals are games for his Playstation 3, I got him to agree that we need to start saving for a house.

Still on the financial tone, I am a victim of Citi Card’s extremely unfair and ridiculous interest rate hike . I was notified in December that effective today, my interest rate would go from a really great 7.49% to 14.99%. I, like many angry consumers out there, have been a fabulous customer. I’ve never paid that bill late EVER, I always pay early, and I’ve been a member since 2001. Despite that, Citi Group sites “hard times” as the reason….despite the fact that they got a HUGE government bailout and then having the audacity to attempt to buy a $50 million jet . Needless to say, I hate them.

I will tell you that my Citi Card holds the highest balance of any of my cards. I’ve had it for a long time, and it helped me through college and through some tough times last year. It is close to its limit all the time, but I have never gone over. However, after I got my bill this month with the 14.99% new interest rate, the finance charge did push it over the limit. Aside from that, they charged me the $39.00 over-the-limit fee. I don’t think I’ve ever been so pissed. I called them up and YELLED at the lady on the phone, telling her that I refused to pay the fee and blah blah blah. She snootily told me there was nothing she could do so I told her to save her breath and let me speak to a supervisor. I was on hold for about 5 minutes before the next lady came on, told me that the $39.00 would be taken off my account and that I should have a nice day. VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My point was that if I had went out and charged my card over the limit, I would pay the fee. But my rate was at 7.49% before they UNFAIRLY doubled my rate, so I was not going to pay the fee. HA HA HA.

Okay, I’m done ranting about my financial situation. In other failed accomplishments, exercising did not happen once this month. I did attempt to get up at 5am one morning to try that out…boy did that not work at all. I really have no excuses for not exercising—but I will say that work has been insanely busy and that I’ve been completely bushed when I get home.

I didn’t give up soda like I wanted to this month either. As a matter of fact, starting just this past week, I think my consumption had TRIPLED. My diet has not changed, but rather got worse. I am blaming the financial crap on this one due to the fact that our grocery budget has been severely limited.

This post is getting long, so I will just say that I did do some minor things. I have cooked a few new meals, including a delicious Split Pea Soup, a really great Goat Cheese Pasta and some Peanut Butter Hershey Kiss cookies. They all came out great and I felt proud.

Oh yes, and remember that post I made about the IKEA file drawers? HAHA, well, and boy do I feel dumb….today, I woke up early and though “GEEEZE, I really really want to get these stupid papers organized!!!!! ARRRRGH!! I hate you, IKEA!!” So I whipped the drawer open—I guess to make sure the cabinet was listening—and stuck my head in there. That’s when I noticed all these little holes on the side. Yah, turns out that the holes are to stick this little rod that I thought was the stopper thing, and it accommodates all different sized hanging folders!! So low and behold, after three months of wishing I could get my files organized, I actually did it today!! And it felt GREAT.

Here are my goals for February:
#1. For the love of all things sacred, please exercise!!
#2. Give up soda
#3. Start paying off my Capital One card
#4. Just for fun, since I don't have tv: watch 10 movies on Hulu that I haven't seen.

Not much, I’ll start small. So long, January!!

My Courageous Act (Seriously)

2009-01-30T16:59:00.005-05:00

After much back and forth in my brain and a slight depression, I decided to just do it: I got rid of cable.

I’m not talking about a simple elimination of extra channels—I mean actually getting rid of EVERYTHING. No local channels, no basic lineup…nothing. I did this mainly to reduce some of my unnecessary expenses (going in line with my financial goals for this year), and also because Comcast royally pissed me off.

When we moved, our original bundle promotional price was over so the lady suggested I upgrade to a super bundle which would be cheaper for a year than the regular bundle. So I said sure. Heck, having HBO, Showtime and Starz PLUS many extra channels like Discovery Health and BBC America was like my dream cable lineup.

Unfortunately, the lady failed to mention that I would be charged twice in December. I paid what I thought was my bill on December 15th and went on my merry little way. THEN, I checked the online bill pay service to see what I would owe in January and saw that it was $149. Okay. Then right before what I thought was my due date (the 15th) I checked again to see that the total had shot up to $305. After I had a heart attack, I called Comcast and got some lady who told me something about charging this and that for this and that and this was why that was like that blah blah blah. She said the bill would be due on January 30th. Okay.

THEN I get an automated call on my cell phone the next day telling me that it is urgent I call Comcast. So I did. And the lady that day gave me a totally different story about why I owed $305. Apparently, the $149 was due on December 31st and the extra amount was my next bill amount. She told me my account was past due and my service might be cut off.

After another heart attack at the fact that I’ve never had anything in my life past due, I got angry and reamed that lady out. I can’t believe that Comcast did not inform me of this additional charge and my new due date. I never received a bill or a notification. Nothing. Not to mention the fact that before this second call, I had talked to Comcast the day before and that lady did not mention anything about my account being past due.

I’ve cancelled my cable and phone service through them but did keep the internet. It’s actually okay. Heck, I even upgraded to the higher speed, which is nice. The problem is that I MISS TELEVISION. IT ASKS FOR SO LITTLE FROM ME. JUST TO TURN MY HEAD IN ITS GENERAL DIRECTION AND LET ME BASK IN ITS WARM GLOW.

I’m serious. I love tv. But what I’ve learned in the few days I’ve been without it is that I never actually WATCHED anything on it. I have the internet, but I can’t think of one tv show I want to watch. I realize that I’ve mostly been watching reruns of stuff I’ve seen a billion times, real-life crime stories and mindlessly flipping. When I’m bored I’ll just got lay there and flip. When I want to take a nap, I turn the tv on for background noise. The truth is that the tv is always on around here for the comforting familiarity it provides and the noise to fill the void.

Now it’s gone and I’m at a loss of what to do with myself half the time. I know this will pass as I get used to it, and forgive my patheticness, but I did only get rid of television this past Wednesday, ok! I know that all the stuff that I’ve wanted to do has been hindered by the fact that I’m way tired and all I want to do is lay there and do nothing.

Eesh. I’ll be wandering around aimlessly for a few more days probably, and until this feeling passes, I miss you tv. I can’t wait for things to get better so we can be reunited.

Anybody have any good show suggestions for me to watch? I've checked out a few episodes of 30 Rock which I am now finding completely lovable. What other network shows are good out there?

Seriously??

2009-01-15T18:29:00.002-05:00

Okay. One of my goals for this year was to take control of my life. This definitely encompasses getting control of my personal files. Right now, they are in a paper shopping bag in my closet. I would like them to be neatly filed and easily accesible instead.

With this in mind, I purchased two new IKEA JONAS storage drawers to go on either side of my desk. I figured one could hold my important documents and my bills and the other could hold my writing notes. Perfect, right?

I bought them at the end of November and had been lazy about getting my filing sorted out. So last weekend I decided that the time had come and that I should get to work putting all my file folders in the cabinet. I had gotten regular size folders, not thinking anything about it.

WELL. And forgive me if I come off as ignorant, but I had NO CLUE that Europe apparently has different sized filing folders than the United States. I mean, seriously, file folders?? I understand different outlets to plug things in, and different measurement units and all that...but FILE FOLDERS????????

I actually had to go on google and type: "WHY DON'T MY FILE FOLDERS FIT MY IKEA CABINET." The size needed for the Ikea cabinets are A4....and of course, I can buy them at IKEA...but geeze.

So, my files are still in a paper bag and I'm not closer to getting them organized than I was in November.

Thanks, Ikea.

bleech.

2009-01-13T19:21:00.002-05:00

Okay. Last Friday I made a meal plan for this week. I planned everything from Breakfast, 2 snacks, lunch and dinner. And I was proud. Then I got sick. I've been home from work for 2 days and, needless to say, I have not been following that meal plan.

Grr! My goal was the follow that plan all week and then I feel like I accomplished something. I even had all my dinners as new recipes that I was excited to try. /-:

Oh well. I'll need to shift the dinners down, so I guess I'll have meal plans for Saturday and Sunday--which is good.

Here's hoping the rest of the week goes as planned.

Suze Orman and your money

2009-01-08T17:47:00.004-05:00

One of my resolutions for 2009 specifically is to make a large dent in my debt and to start saving money. I actually sat down and added up all my debt yesterday and saw what I have in credit card debt.....which isn't really unbelievably bad compared to most people out there, but still...my eyes widened. It wasn't so shocking that I had a heart attack either, instead it made me more determined than ever to pay them off.

I admit that I've had 2 cards for the majority of my adult life and they've had pretty high balances due to college and moving. I will admit that I almost regrete getting 2 additional cards in the past two months and charging them up high.

It's okay. I'll never be one of those people who charge $50,000 on credit cards. But I used the 2 new cards to buy things we needed for our life and I don't regrete THAT. I always use credit wisely and never go over a point where I can't pay it back.

On a related note, I'm not an Oprah watcher, but I happened to be flipping through and saw that Suze Orman was on today. I really like that lady. She gives smart, real-world financial advice that simple to understand and straight-forward to put into action. I bought her book Young, Fabulous & Broke in December, but have yet to crack it open. I will definitely be reading that next.

That being said, on Oprah today, Suze Orman was discussing money plans for 2009--specifically in this bad economy. The cool thing is that you can download her entire new book on Oprah's website! Suze Orman's 2009 Action Plan

Check it out if you are interested. Among some of her plans, she recommends that you start working toward building an 8 month emergency fund (8 months coverage where you can pay all your monthly expenses). At first I almost choked, but it's smart advice. In her book she says even if it takes you just 6 months or a few years, you'll still be better off every month you save then you were before. Good advice. (-:

If you are interested in the book, download it soon because I think it'll only be up free for the week.

Slow start

2009-01-07T18:18:00.002-05:00

I'm an all-or-nothing person when it comes to diet and exercise. I feel like I have to start everything on day one and if I fail, then I guess I'm a failure and I might as well eat that pie. I'm sure it's common, and I'm sure that anyone who has that habit is just as annoyed as me about it.

I am really trying to get over that mentality.

I've been having a slow start to the year thus far on my diet and exercise goals. I've been doing half-okay, half-not-okay on my eating while my ideals of exercising have been non-existent. This has actually been a good thing, dare I say, because it is teaching me to not go crazy and start fresh the next day. Honestly. I'm not trying to justify myself on being enthusiastic and falling flat on everything. It really has been good! I am celebrating the little successes and it's making it easier for me to continue rather than give up.

I'm celebrating the fact that I am up to 4 cups of water a day...which may not seem like much, but that's really 4 cups more than I ever drank during the day. I'm celebrating that I've been able to stay off the soda. I've been soda-clean since Sunday, which is a big deal for someone who was gulping down daily that past several months. I'm celebrating that I've been taking my vitamin everyday. I'm celebrating that I've been eating a good breakfast every morning.

I mean, these are big accomplishments for me and the fact that I've been doing well for 4 days is a world record.

I have had a hard time resisting the post-Christmas junk that everyone has been bringing in to get rid of, I admit it. Today my co-worker brought me these chocolate-butterscotch things with peanuts and *drool*..I at all of them.

I've also been having to drink coffee with splenda and 2 packets of fact coffee creamer the past few mornings due to the fact that I've drastically cut back on my sugar intake and soda. I have almost fallen asleep driving to and from work most days this week, so coffee has been the only way to go. Unfortunetly, work coffee doesn't taste good without fake creamer. )-:

Oh well. Tomorrow is another day. I'll continue celebrating my little successes in hopes that it makes it easier for me to stay on track.

Happy Anniversary to me!

2009-01-06T20:46:00.005-05:00

Today is my and my husband's two year wedding anniversary. I can't believe that the time has passed so quickly.

The first year was hard, the second year has been a bit better. Hopefully we can make this comming year the best one yet.

P.S. I'm updating while lounging in bed. This iPod touch is soooo awesome.

Not so good day...

2009-01-05T19:04:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I vowed yesterday to get up this morning and workout...well, it didn't exactly go so well. I *DID* get up at 5 am. I *DID* put on my workout gear. I *DID* get on the elliptical. And that's where it ended. I started to work out, but I was so unbelievably tired and blah that I could only manage a few minutes. I got off and felt a little ill and then vowed that I would not do that again for a very long time.

The 5 o'clock hour is not a good time for me to do anything--I've come to this realization and am accepting it. Perhaps after I get into some semblance of shape and have more energy, then maybe I can get up before work and exercise. But not right now. UGH.

I told myself I should exercise when I got home, but after almost falling asleep on the way to work and on the way home, I realized that I would just not worry about it today. I'm okay with that. It was the first day back at work after a week and a half, so I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

However, I will exercise when I get home tomorrow. Yep.

Other than that, I did okay on the eating part until lunch. I had a salad and some chicken, but then I added 3 cookies, 2 chocolates and 2 handfuls of white cheddar Cheez-its (damn those delicious things!).

To not beat myself up about this day, I'll focus on the positives:
I took my vitamins this morning.
I had a good breakfast and a good snack (oatmeal for breakfast, 2 hard-boiled eggs and tomatoes and carrots for snack).
Although I had the extra crap I shouldn't have eaten at lunch, I still didn't do that bad today overall.
I did make good on my promise to get up at 5 and attempt to exercise--shame I just can't do it right now.

A not so good day, but a not so terrible day. What can you do?

PS...I actually got on the scale today and was shocked that I weighed my highest weight EVER. Now I have to lose 35 lbs instead of 25. What a freaking bummer! But I'm not totally depressed and discouraged. I'm going to lose that weight.

Permission to be lazy...

2009-01-04T20:27:00.002-05:00

One of my big problems (of many) is that I never give myself permission to relax. I always feel like I have to do something and if I don't get it done (which is often), I beat myself up a bit for it. This is one reason for my major stress problems.

Today I gave myself permission to have a lazy morning. I decided that I would lay in bed until noon, drink some coffee, watching tv, read a book and just enjoy the morning. It was wonderful. I really need to do that more often.

Despite that, I still managed to get everything I needed to done--which is HUGE. Hair washed, check. Lunches made, check. Dinner made, check. Ran to store, check. Facial done, check. Straightened up, check.

What a great Sunday.

Tomorrow is back to work for me after a week and a half being off. Murgh. Not looking forward to it, but it'll be nice to get back to a routine. January through the spring is a very busy time for me, so I know when I return tomorrow that it'll be full speed ahead in the go-go world of finance. :-/

Also, I am vowing to get up tomorrow and workout. I hate mornings and it'll be hard, but I think if I can conquer that and start my exercise routine, it'll be wonderful. I'm hoping and praying that'll it'll give me energy throughout the day and that it'll be a start to a habit I can stick with. Only tomorrow will tell when the alarm goes off, but here's hoping to a good start to the rest of my life.

Wish me luck!

An honorable mention..

2009-01-03T19:13:00.003-05:00

My husband did good this year for Christmas. He actually remembered something I pointed out a few months ago and got it for me. Of course, I just thought it was cute, not really thinking about wanting it--but I'm sure glad he bought it for me.

If you enjoy the novelty, then you might like this:

Room Tech beingz Alarm Clock

I absolutely adore this thing! You can choose three different alarm sounds, all fantastic, to wake up with. They're not the horrid beeping sounds either--more like cell phone music. I hate alarms and am always jolted out of sleep by them, but this one is very much a gentle-wake alarm clock. It's great because a few minutes before the alarm is set to go off, it'll move it's arms and light up for a few seconds. I find that it helps me not hit the snooze button since it sort of wakes me a bit before the alarm goes off.

It also plays radio and hooks up nicely to an mp3 player (thank you, new iPod Touch.). It will charmingly open it's mouth when you are listening to both and lights up.

AND, to top it off, a fun feature is you can pet its head and it'll smile at you. PLUS, aparently it has a little friend called the Beingz Mood Lamp which will talk to the alarm clock and can coordinate lighting for when you want to wake up. I almost want it!

Anyways, just thought I'd put that out there how much I love this alarm clock. Who'd have thought?

In other news, nothing eventful happened today. We did laundry after not having done so in almost 3 weeks. Library run for cookbooks. Grocery shopping. That's it. I accomplished all I needed to do and the day flew by. Now I'm off to take a shower and relax with the kittens and some newly borrowed books.

Happy Saturday!

A clean apartment is nice..

2009-01-02T19:26:00.002-05:00

One of the things that stress me out the most is the fact that my husband, bless his heart, is completely oblivious to any mess around him. He makes them, but when I comment on it, his response is usually: "huh? oh, sorry."

This is because he is the product of a home where his mother did everything for him. Seriously. He lived at home until he was 26 and she was still going into his room and making his bed and cleaning it up. At first I thought it was a cultural thing since he is Chilean, and it probably is, but I didn't realize how detrimental it was going to be to me when we got married.

I've always been a laid-back person, not naggy, but I have turned into a huge nag over household issues. As it stands now, I do everything from cleaning to cooking to making his lunch for the next day. It gets tiring and very frustrating to continually ask something of someone and they don't do it. I'm sure everyone already knows this.

However, one of my goals was to stop nagging. I realize that if I want the house a certain way, then I'm going to have to rely on myself to get it done. It's hugely unfair, but I realize as I get older that it's not worth the stress and anxiety it causes. I hope that if I make a habit of picking up around here consistently then he will notice and start to form a habit on his own. I will, of course, still request in a nice way that he do things, but I'm just going to stop there.

So today, I took about an hour and straightened everything up, loaded the dishwasher, dumped trash, etc and he noticed. He may not have gotten up and helped, but at least he said: "Thank you." Honestly, if he didn't help me one bit but was thankful for all the hard work I put in to making our place nice, clean, and making him food and doing his laundry......I don't think I'd mind as much.

Oh. Also, for my style resolution, I actually made some tiny headway today. Our bedroom has been kind of a mish-mash of miscellaneous furniture since we moved in together. I wanted a bit more of put-together looking there, so I went out and used my IKEA gift cards and picked up a few things. I got a new quilt cover, not the one I originally wanted, but it's still nice. I also got some bedside tables that matched and are just lovely! I also bought some frames and put 2 pictures from a japanese woodblock calendar in them.

I really have been moving toward fresher, cleaner colors lately--you know, the whites and lights, but since the major pieces in our room are dark and we bought black frames to match those japanese pictures, I figured I'd try the darker color scheme for now. Doesn't have to be forever, right?

Right.

A new beginning...

2009-01-01T18:40:00.003-05:00

I can't believe it's 2009 already. Honestly, 2008 really stunk in the life department whilst making me realize that I need to change before my whole life passes.

Firstly, a quick recap of 2008:
1. I gained 15 pounds.
2. I developed anxiety.
3. My cat got sick.
4. My apartment flooded.
5. I ran up 2 credit cards for some reason.

And worstly, my cat of 17 years passed away the day after Christmas. Actually, she started to go on Christmas day. I spent all day with her, but I don't think she had much recollection of her surroundings. Then at 3am, I knew it was over, so we had to take her to the emergency vet and put her down. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to experience and I am completely devestated. She was the absolute best cat anyone could ask for and she brought so much joy and happiness to my life. )-:

There was a few good things. One being that I successfully celebrated my one year wedding anniversary last January without killing my husband. We moved to a bigger apartment with more room. I got promoted at work.

Also, 2 days after Chloe died, my husband insisted we get a new kitten. I was very apprehensive and guilt-ridden about it, but reluctantly agreed to get 2 new kittens. So we rescued Max and Sadie, and, I must say, they've really helped fill the void that Chloe left behind. Not a replacement in any way (no one could replace that cat), but they've brought some new feelings and excitment into our lives. They're very cuddly and hyper and love to curl up with you and sleep.

Now onto life in general. Last year was the biggest realization for me that I am doing nothing I want to do with my life. I don't think I really lived a day last year. I use the excuse of being tired and stressed, which in all fairness, I really am. However, I know I'm not the only one and yet, others go on to live successfully. There are so many things I want to do with myself, but I seem to not have the energy or drive to do any of it. I'm cranky, anxious, miserable, stressed, tired, mad or asleep in my spare time.

So, that's when I decided that 2009 was really going to be the year that I need to get myself in gear and change. If I don't, I'm going to be miserable for another year while I watch my life pass me by and I just don't think I can take it.

I made 10 resolutions to accomplish this year. They aren't just 2009 resolutions, but the resolutions I want to accomplish to make the rest of my life better. I know that I will have successes and failures this year, but I need to keep pushing forward and work through it.

Here they are:

1. Take control of my life. This is pretty obvious since I just finished talking about it, but yah. Aside from the things I can't help, which everyone has to deal with, I really just sit around and mope. I need to be better organized and use my time effectively. I seriously don't do anything, but I always feel like I don't have enough time to do anything. Weird and irrational, but true. This also pretty much includes all my other resolutions.

2. Become a healthier person. I feel like the world's unhealthiest person. I am tired all the time and feel really blah. I'm out of shape, don't drink enough water and eat a ton of processed crap. I am interested in the eating clean idea and would like to start getting rid of the processed chemical food in my diet. I want to drink plenty of water and feel great and fresh and full of energy.

3. Lose weight. In 2005, I lost 20 pounds and went down from a size 12 to a size 6. It was great and I felt really good about it. Flash forward to 2008 where I have put on 15 pounds and have cried in the dressing room because my pants are once again a size 12. I want to lose at least 20 to 25 pounds and get down to about 125 which I think would be perfect for me and my small frame. I want to do this to feel better about myself and look better in my clothes. I don't know how long it will take me, but I want to do it the right way with exercise, strength training and eating cleaner foods.

4. Be a better person. This really encompasses all areas of my life. I'd like to be a better person all around, a better wife and a better friend. I want to be nicer about people in general and control my temper. I want to stop nagging my husband, although he will have to work on his problem areas as well. I want to donate to something I believe in and take up some sort of cause. There are certain people I know who just seem so wonderful about everything in life and I aspire to be like that.

5. Feel better about myself. This is kind of a combonation of all of the above. Right now, I'm feeling pretty shitty about everything in my life. I really want to work on all the things I'm unhappy about and change them so I can stop wasting my energy on feeling shitty. When somebody asks me if I truly like myself, I'd like to be able to say: "Yes!" instead of "well, I guess."

6. Become more frugal and pay off debts. I'm wasteful as a person. I don't do it intentionally, but I do it. I replace items unnecessarily and don't use every last drop of toiletries before I replace them. I waste money on things that don't contribute anything my life like eating food out because I don't feel like cooking and other stupid things all the time. By the end of the month, we don't have anything in savings and we don't get ahead. Sure, I make sure all our bills are paid on time (thank goodness for my dedication to that) but the rest of the money that is left over goes to nothing but those aforementioned stupid things. This year, I'd like to keep better track of my finances, get money into savings and pay off as much of my 3 credit cards as possible.

7. Expand my cooking world. I'm not a bad cook, but I'm a lazy cook. I want to really explore new recipes and make a lot of the convience food that I've been craming into my mouth from scratch so that it's healthier and more enjoyable. I used to love to cook, but it tapered off. I really want to regain that love, try some new foods and have fun with it.

8. Explore my creative side. I have so many things I want to try, but of course, I'm one of those people who think I can't do anything creative at all because I'm not talented. I realized I've never really tried to do anything, and, I might stink at first, but who knows, I might also really develop a creative outlet for myself. One thing I know I'm decent at is writing ficiton, which I really really wanted to do last year, but couldn't get motivated. This year I'd like to finish my first draft of the story I've been building in my head all of 2008. I also want to work on developing my photography skills since I got a fancy new camera. I also want to try my hand at painting and scrapbooking and expand my knowledge of crochet.

9. Go Green. At first when the whole Green thing started up, I didn't really pay attention. However, I've become really interested in it lately for a number of reasons. Number one is that I'm starting to look at all the chemicals in everything I use, put on my body, eat, etc and it's scary! Number two, I already mentioned, I'm very wasteful. I generate a lot of trash and I'm too lazy to recycle. My goal for this year is to start up on recycling, generate less trash, reuse, and use friendlier products. This includes cleaning products, which I'm very interested in homemade rather than store-bought chemicals.

10. Add some style to my life. I've always felt pretty blah about myself, but there was a time in the past that I would attempt to wear makeup and such. Now, I just exist. My goal in the morning is not to look good, but rather just decent. I have the same clothes since high school and would like to dress nicer in my personal life and more professionally at work. I want to regain the ability to wear some makeup and fix my hair. I want to take pride in my appearance. I also want to add some style to my surroundings. My apartment could really use some putting together.

So that's all the things that are wrong with me and that's all the the things I want to change. I started this blog so I have some place to keep me on track and a bit accountable-and also a place to share what I'm learning about life and myself.

Wish me luck!